2011 - My year in Flickr photos...

I write my most philosophical and reflective posts at this time of year. A lot can happen in twelve months. You meet new people and build new friendships and if you are lucky, ones that last a lifetime. You can begin a career, or take the baby steps towards that big goal that you know will make you and everyone who knows you, proud.

I have come some way over this year with my photography and though I have mentioned some of my achievements in some of my recent posts; I can't help but relive them in my mind and the influence that those achievements will have when the bigger picture comes in to sight. 

In the last few days of the year, I look over what I have done. I like to keep journals and blogs as such, as a reminder or what I have done, what I have thought and what I have felt, but not only that. I like to see what I have done on certain days that I may have done differently in other years or write about new experiences or even life-changing ones like starting University and really knowing what it is like to grow up. 

I don't always write about Photography in a direct way but you will know that I gift-wrap it in somewhere. You can record many memories in many ways. This can be through writing, through song, through video but sometimes it can be the pictures that we take, whether they are captured with our minds eye, or through a camera. I'm an owner of a few cameras now and each one that I look through; I get a different experience. We can look at the same thing but our minds place a different significance on it, no matter how similar we could argue against it, but it is the same world, and that is what I find interesting. 

Since 2008, I have been a Flickr member. Each year, I create a Set and fill all my pictures I have uploaded from that year and review them at the end. I would like to share with you my photos of 2011. 

I wish you a very happy new year. 

Merry Christmas Day!

A big Merry Christmas to the near and dear, the Blogging community and beyond!

I hope everyone is having a fantastic day!

Reflections through a Christmas bauble...

I always seem reflective when the end if the year comes. Each new year, we try to better ourselves and I particularly reflect on how far I have come and what I have achieved. I have achieved a lot in Photography for 2011. I feel more confident with myself and have excelled from just taking Landscapes and Still Life and taking on board some extra tasks during my photographers assistant job at Weddings. His clients have apparently chosen some of my photos that I have taken. Im hoping for 2012 that I will be able to use my own camera this time. I don't have quite as an expensive lens as he does and that probably makes a difference. Some copies to show off, could be nice. I also begun my work in portraiture, with evidence of improvements just over 12 weeks. I have a lot to be proud of.

I am beginning to think of my aims for next year. A mixture of personal project and set assignments for University. My motivation is soaring right now but it is not good just to think and dream about what you want to do. You actually have to do it.

So before wrapping up this post, I would like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, if I don't post again before. I would also like to share an early Christmas I got.



Seasons Greetings everyone!

Lost in Thought (Portfolio) - My first at University

I have done a lot of slideshows and mini films recently but here I have another. What I am about to present is my first official portfolio that I have created at University. I have used a Pentax 35mm camera, Hp5 Ilford film, a darkroom and my very good friend and star model, George.

My portfolio set is called Lost in Thought made of three sets of two in relevance. The single images are on my Flickr  and some more info on there too. Now, sit back, relax and I hope you enjoy my work. The slideshow comes with an option of sound. (The slideshow is also on repeat) If you want to listen; hover your mouse of the top right hand corner and click the volume symbol. On the other hand you may just want to see the pictures in peace. I have left the choice up to you.

Commuting through pictures and video...

Beautiful Sun (morning commute) a video by brown_eyed_dreamer on Flickr.

Did a bit of videography on my commute, one beautiful morning this week. ( You will have to mute the audio from this post to watch this one if you watch this from the homepage)

The song is called Gravity Happens, by American singer and (One Tree Hill) actress, Kate Voegele.

My theme of commuting continues in my first print of my Digital Photography portfolio.

Photography by Zoe Bull 

First semester of University - Over. It seems very surreal and so grown up and sophisticated. I have definitely felt that I have grown up over 2011, but only in the work side. I think I will always be a child inside. 

I will always have the story to tell of how I fell in love with photography. It was yesterday when I was presenting my Digital and Film prints to my course, that I actually fell in love with Photography. Before, it was most likely a Lust or Infatuation - certainly an obsession that I couldn't do much with. It was the day after I left school that I felt this overwhelming lust for it. I had no knowledge of where to go or let alone use a Digital SLR or a 35mm camera. The fact that I have learned so much about Photography in just a few months has made me get to know it and therefore fall deeply and head-over-heels in love with it. They say you can not love a person unless you really know them. I definitely go by that but we are all infatuated to begin with. I feel now that I can start building my skills on a higher level. I am ready to progress and feel so determined to get a career out of this because this is what I want. Photography is what makes me happy. I have never really thought of it as a hobby, but I guess it is. I have always seen it as a little more than that, and now more than ever, I feel like I can work hard and eventually get to being a true professional. 

I shall end this post with a few words of wisdom from Kate, that I find more than inspiring. 

"..I have gathered that the moments that shaped me
Were the ones that have tested my faith
And all that matters is the courage they gave me
I fell down and my fears were erased

'Cause in the wreckage of heartache and hindsight
A new beginning starts to unfold
And if you let it, it just might save your life..."

                                                                -- Kate Voegele, Gravity Happens 

Lost in Thought... (Portfolio Preview)

Lost in Thought... (Portfolio Preview), a photo by brown_eyed_dreamer on Flickr.

The brisk breeze and twinkle of lights in the distance, certainly signifies that December is here and Christmas is coming.

In previous years, I would get excited about the prospect of Christmas around the First of December but from being stuffed to the brim with work, the excitement of Christmas has to be patient.

Next Friday I shall be on my Holidays but before then I have still got prints to complete in the darkroom and not just practice prints this time; Portfolio Prints! And I'm quite looking forward to building my first collection of images while I have been at University.

I hope I can be of inspiration to aspiring Photographers out there.

Via Flickr:

*NOTE: This preview is a digital mock up of my final portfolio. The official prints are yet to be completed and scanned and should be uploaded to Flickr with in the new few weeks. *

Prague Through Pictures... - My Refections

Desire for a perfect life is simply inaccurate. Not everything we do in life has pointed us to the right track or the right direction, as much we try to take the best route. We make mistakes and we learn from them. Like many, I don't like the feeling of regret. Maybe some people do, but to me it feels so wrong, but in the long run, it is something we learn from. Life is for Living but it is also for Learning.

Trams of Prague (November 2011)

I had a regret the other day for going to Prague during the mid weeks of the just gone November. I regret pushing myself too hard and making myself ill, but the thing was that I am learning from my mistake and therefore no longer regret it. I had to be ill so I could be better; not just in my general health but in my well being and how I look and approach life. Though I didn't get out what I wanted to that month to go, I have managed to appreciate that I was given an experience. An experience to visit a new place and enjoy my youth with many like minded creative people on the Photography and Film courses of my University. It was a chance to bond and feel accepted in a thriving society. I also was given the opportunity to capture the significant parts of my stay on my camera. And that, made it personal.

Without further ado:My Top Photos of Prague.

Architecture of Prague (November 2011)

Prague (November 2011)

Prague (November 2011)

Center of Prague (November 2011)

Want to visit my Flickr photostream with the featured photos in my blog and more then click the following link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/brown_eyed_dreamer/

The pace of life through observation...

You could say being ill is a set back in life. In a way I have seen it like that. In my University education it is a busy time. Within a matter of weeks, project portfolios should be coming together and sessions in the darkroom are to be taken with full advantage and I feel a bit frustrated and stuck in bed wanting to do these things so I can achieve the best grades possible.

However, at the end of the day I may get my degree out of this Photography course but the result of that won't make me a better Photographer, it will just be a label to suggest I studied Photography somewhere in my education. What I am saying is; a photography degree is not essential to get into the Photography Industry, unlike like a Doctorate or Dentistry. I guess what I mean is that I am gaining the skills of a Photographer and these project deadlines are merely stepping stones in the long run. But why do I care so much? I want to do well, I want to achieve and I have seen that I have been risking my health because of it. Being too determined and now I'm in a state of exhaustion and coughing away while if I paced myself, then I could be working towards an assignment that has to be in for tomorrow.

My thoughts shifted this morning; realising that being ill is not necessarily a set back in the words of obstruction, but in fact a set back in observation. Photographers are said to be observers of the world and I think I need to take this time to observe mine and ask myself what is significant in my life and how I can achieve it. I think I need to forget being a Hare in my life and possibly taking the Tortoise role where being slow and steady really does win the race.

The Lovely Linda...

Linda McCartney was an inspiration.

I have just been reading and admiring the Photographs of late wife of Sir Paul McCartney in the tribute book 'Linda McCartney, Life in photographs" in a cosy little bookshop in Prague. In hope to pass some time, after my trip to the National Museum (was quicker than I would have thought) I stumbled across some books in English, that happened to be on Photography. While flicking through a book on Portraits, I noticed in the corner of my eye familiar face and recognisable photograph of my favourite Beatle and Musician, Paul McCartney. With a large interest in his music and the man behind the persona, I have started to take more interest into his first wife who was one of the first female photographers to go about her own. I found this inspiring. I felt I was loosing my way a bit. Was I big enough for this but I feel more secure now. Using 35mm film made this book more exciting for me. Linda certainly has a special way of taking photographs and capturing the emotion beyond a subject. She described photography to her as an "inner thing". If she felt the need to "click " then she would. I see where was coming from. Absolutely!

I am picky with what I take. It has to have some value to me. My family often say "Why don't you take a picture of that?" and I would simple say "..because I don't want to". Photographers want to photograph the unique aspects of life or even taboo subjects at a different angle - Their Angle.

Prague is very unique and as part of a brief; we are not allowed to take tourist shots; the pictures everyone takes of the same statue or landmark and so on.

Photography is certainly about finding yourself, Linda mentioned something along the lines of this in her book. Paul said that "Photography was an extension of Linda's personality and I feel that is an extension of mine.

Photography Wanderlust Perhaps?

I am off to Prague today for a Photography Trip with my University. I must say I am quite excited to go to yet another exciting place I haven't been to this year. They Prague is very different to Spain, Italy and even Russia so I can't wait to see what I can photograph.

I have just completed my slideshow of my second photo shoot that follows on from the previous post. Seeing as my Windows Movie Maker is not working I have had to result in an alternative where I created my slide show. Enjoy.

Want to visit my Flickr photostream with the featured photos in my blog and more then click the following link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/brown_eyed_dreamer/

Black and White..it has always been a classic...

It has been a little while than I had hoped, but I finally have the opportunity to show you my latest photo shoot with my magnificent model and friend George Gillbard.

It was just over a month ago when I did my first photo shoot and I didn't really have much insight about it. I felt that I just had to do what I had to do and get on with it. If I were to make mistakes then I would make a mistake, thats how we learn, right?

Anyway, I feel a sense of improvement coming along. I have had a few setbacks - ups and downs and what not but I think it makes me a stronger person and a better photographer. I have had so many comments on my pictures that I have taken on my 35 mm film Pentax K1000 from my class at Uni, and that just feels so nice. They are a lovely bunch, they really are. I can't help but get a little competitive. I'm one of those- I want to be the best of the best and coming 2nd, 3rd or less than 1st is not in my vocabulary. With enough of an introduction, I would like to present my pictures.

Want to visit my Flickr photostream with the featured photos in my blog and more then click the following link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/brown_eyed_dreamer/

Putting into practice rather than words -- Exposure and Movement

Recently I have been talking about Photography but I haven't really shown the progress and I think it is important that I do.

Long Exposure/Movement Experiment 1 
Shutter speed: 1/60 ( one sixtieth of a second)

The quicker the Shutter the more frozen the image will be
and vice versa. 

Earlier on this cool, misty Autumnal day, I ventured out into the garden to put into practice Movement and Exposures that I have been present in my lectures over past two weeks. Below I have a looked at Shutter speed and learning how the exposure tools on my camera actually work. I still have more to learn. I thought I may as well share here what I have been doing, because this is what it is all about. Photography and the process - My Journey. Once I have finished Uni and my blogs have been accessed then the work there will be gone, so I thought I could keep a record right here, for always.

Long Exposure/Movement Experiment 2
Shutter speed: 1/15 sec

What I love about blogging is that I can record what I have done and come back to a post that I create a year previously and see how far I have come. Learning can be a slow process and I find that frustrating. I have the tendency to want to be able to achieve something straight away. Taking singing for example; it is a natural talent of mine and I have always been able to hit notes. Even so, I have improved quite a bit from when I first started even though it is still a natural talent.  All talents have to start off at a low point somewhere for them to progress.
Anyone can take photographs but having an eye for compositions and creative approaches is only the baseline of this talent. Since I have been at University I have begun to develop my skills. Before I started, I knew the basics. I began learning about the technical elements; I was shown them but I didn't really understand them and thats an important thing. Understanding. With the correct understanding you can really achieve what you really want to and in the appropriate manner.

Long Exposure/Movement Experiment 3
Shutter speed: 1/4 sec

At Uni, we have Blogs that we keep to track our progress and for the students to view. Whenever I write and upload in mine, it always feels so educational and not really creative. I have to really think what I want to say rather than typing away and letting the words flow with ease.

This is only the second time that I have tried this technique. It doesn't have to be of anything significant in particular, would have been good for Halloween.



Tip: Set your camera to Shutter Priority and it will sort out the Aperture so you don't have to. It is much quicker and you still get "ghosting" results with the longer Shutter speed. Most cameras go up to 30 seconds but this is only best at night.

Example of Shallow Depth of Field
Shutter speed: 1/125
Aperture: f/8

Want to visit my Flickr photostream with the featured photos in my blog and more then click the following link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/brown_eyed_dreamer/

C for Confidence, S for Success...

Confidence? What is it?

"belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance"
                                                                                             - Dictionary.com


You could say that a success is achieved with confidence. Sometimes you have those lucky breaks when things work out but that is really just do with luck. Having the confidence to do something makes you feel better. This could be to do with anything; Music, Writing, Performing, Socializing and so much more. When you have the belief you can do something that is when things turn out great. There are many tasks in life that are worth considering confidence.
I started University, six weeks ago. I am planning to spend tomorrow in the dark room with one of new friends, processing and developing film. If I hadn't had the confidence to strike up a conversation or hold it then I may not have made a friend. Though I'm a person who doesn't mind her own company I could have lost with what I was doing. If I didn't have the confidence, I wouldn't be asking for help when I needed it, because honestly developing film is no easy task.


So why am I talking about Confidence and where are the pictures to go with this post? To be honest, I don't have any to show to today but I want you to bare with me and let the words create images in your mind. I was learning about Typography earlier this week and how the communication of words can do such a thing..but that, is an entirely different story.

Confidence. That is the focus of today.

Going to University is often that stepping stone in to the real world. The industries, where your aspirations are able to take shape and really be brought to life. Like many things, Photography needs such confidence. As much as it is an Art and debatably a Science, it is also a lot to do with Social Communications.

I had to do a classic Powerpoint Presentation today that was a proposal for an assignment as part of my Digital Photography. Without going into much detail; my idea revolves around commuting. I am a commuter and any regular readers would probably know that about now from my recent posts. So this is an important subject to me but I have never really done Documentary Photography before. I have been hiding in the shadows. I have been lacking confidence. If you have seen my Flickr page  then you know about 90% of my photos are Still Life, Architecture or Landscape and Nature. I haven't really captured many people, only beginning just recently. It's not that I don't want to capture people, I just haven't got the words and the stratergy to get me there successfully yet. It's what I want to do. I want to be a Lifestyle Photographer; Family Portraits, Weddings, Couples, Children. What do I need? The Social Skills. Are they easy? No. Can I get there? Yes. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but every experience I have communicating with people I am gaining confidence, maybe even subconsciously. Everyone at some stage of their lives lack confidence, even the people most Extravert of people. Confidence is lacked and that is a sad truth. However. It is not lost. It is gained. It can be maintained.

What I found was today in my presentation session was everyone found it hard to approach the public just to have their photos taken. I don't know if this is just a British characteristic, but we are so reserved and stiff.   One guy in my class had no trouble, hats off to him but realistically as aspiring Photographers the majority of the class are finding this "Approach" the hardest. We are interested in the Primary elements; seeing interesting views, objects, people etc but putting that in to practice is hard. I was saying a few posts ago that the Photography that I am learning about is more than just Point-and-Shoot. There is so much more than I would have thought, and that is great because I'm passionate about Photography and I love it but you still have to strive for something. You have to have a clear head and be focused. Much about Photographing people is the control that you have over them. The problem is that once you point a camera on a person their expression will change. It will be forced, posed, unnatural. For some occasions that is down right perfect and it works but my Communting project I need to get these commuters to pose naturally, candidly but fake candidly because the tired, distressed look is what I need. It communicates with the viewer. That is the challenge. The fence I have to climb and not fall down on either side.

What I have been trying to say is that without having the confidence to ask for access, whether that is for location or a person then how am I going to expect to be a successful Photographer? It's not just about taking pretty pictures. It is about control and confidence. I won't be able to complete my project without it. I may have confidence in myself. But to apply it...well --


Try not and let the fear, prevent you from becoming successful, for I believe.




Want to visit my Flickr photostream with the featured photos in my blog and more then click the following link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/brown_eyed_dreamer/

Pure inspiration, enough to be different...

Inspiration for writing is like grain of sand, slipping through my fingers. It is golden; this inspiration. It has a golden glow is so pure and warm but once I try and take a hold on it, the glow becomes dimmer and grains of sand become smaller. I must hold onto it before it goes...

As you can see my inspiration runs out quickly, no matter how beautiful and important it is to me.. What inspired me this morning was my research into Black and White Photographers that I'm currently procrastinating as I my urge to write this post came to me. I have spoken a lot about Black and White recently and for this research, I have to analyze some of the work from my favourite Monochrome photographers. Mine personal favourite would have to Robert Freeman who Photographed the Beatles around the time of the Rubber Soul LP in 1965. I love his high contrast tonality between the black and white - shades of grey would seldom be conveyed. I have to talk about why I find the Photographs work interesting and how it inspires me. I also have to mention, how it would influence my work. That is the thing. I love Monochrome but I could never re-create Robert Freeman's style. It is his. It is original. I want to be original. I am original.

On my lecture in Digital Photography on the Thursday just been; my lecturer said that "everything has been done before" and he is right. It has. In a way it is discouraging because how can anyone be original when at least someone has tried to do something that is already done. On the other hand, it is an exciting challenge; this being because every person has a unique perception on life-I learned that the other day. We may be similar but even the same object we may look at, everyone will have different way of associating themselves with it. This could be from a still life to a person to a landscape and so on. A Photographers job, as well as capturing light, it is to show to the world how they perceive it. It is hard because these differences can be very similar but I think I can prove a difference in my Photography, it will show what a successful Photography I am.

I must get on with this research now. What a perfect introduction.





Want to visit my Flickr photostream with the featured photos in my blog and more then click the following link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/brown_eyed_dreamer/

Practice makes perfect..

I do love that sense of improvement and development really paying off.

Looking back over my Blog I have seen how much I progressed in my Photography. Though the first milestone for me was getting into University and starting my course the real beginning was much before that. It's strange how much I didn't know. I suppose I possessed some natural Photography skills. I could already frame my images and take pictures of interesting compositions but I have learned so much about Photography in the last five weeks at University than I ever thought I would. This knowledge is just making my confidence soar and make me really feel that I am getting somewhere. I have been quite skeptical in my abilities in the past as you have something in your work that makes it stand out. As I am writing this I am feeling very silly about why I was so skeptical and I can't really put my finger on the main reason. It's in the past now, so not worth worrying. I suppose progress can be a bit daunting; there will always be times when things will be great but without those mistakes we make, we can't improve, so in a sense even the negatives spell good too.

I have been an Assistant Photographer for about eighteen months now. I believe I have done eight weddings. That is pretty good going, I think. I remember the first time when I was given one of the professional cameras and thinking "How on Earth do I use this?". I was set up for me, by the Photographer I work with. I was very quiet, just stood at the back of the church and I think my pictures were blurry as I didn't know how to focus, on this high tech Digital SLR. To be hones, I was still unsure how my SLR worked at this time and I had it for six months. I enjoyed the day though and there is a blog post back in May 2010 if you want to read more about it. I never imagined I would have the confidence to get involved and talk to guests about posing for the camera and getting me to take their photos. The social skills in Photography seemed unreachable.

Yesterday improved my social skills in Photography. Stuart could sense an improvement in my work; it has begun to be used in some of the wedding albums and he said my compositions and timings are much more precise so I had to move a step up. My task was to get in closer with the guests and interact with them. I am a Photographer now. It is what I should do. I can't just stand from a distance. I took up as much courage as I could to look for the golden opportunities and I found them. I got some wacky poses, some requests from parents to take pictures of their children running around (to be honest that one was hard, they really don't keep still, but I'll work on that) and I got a group of around ten people to smile at the camera for me. They were taking pictures of themselves using their amateur cameras, so I thought "Hey, I could take their pictures", which is what I asked and achieved. I felt so good about myself and even Stuart seemed impressed.

I'm loving this industry, this freedom of capturing light more than ever. I just fits with me!


Want to visit my Flickr photostream with the featured photos in my blog and more then click the following link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/brown_eyed_dreamer/

Digital vs Film - My First Assignment...

With every aspiration there is a goal you want to reach. Within that goal there are mini achievements that get you closer to that goal.  My first goal is completing my first ever Photo shoot.

Portraiture. Monochrome Portraiture, infact.

There is something about black and white photography that I just adore. It could possibly be the delicious tones of deep greys and blacks in contrast with the soft greys and whites. I think enhances the beauty of Photography and really goes back in time to when it all began.

It was around the '70s when photographing with rolls of film came into the world. People would buy their film, go on a holiday, take pictures of their familiar etcetera . Being born towards the end of the 20th Century, I was in the midst of change, the process and development of Digital Cameras. Film wasn't used as often but it was the Photographers back in the day would use to make a living and how they learned to use a camera. There is Mathmatics and Science to Photography and being one of the most artistic and creative people known to mankind I knew this would be a bit of a struggle understanding these terms that are computerized Mathematically within the Automatic setting of a Digital Camera. Being a University student now on a Photography Degree it is about time I leave behind the Auto mode and really take some real photos with some real knowledge and real technique.

I was given my first assignment last week to use two rolls of film and a Pentax K1000 (a vintage 35mm camera). That is the model they have at University but for me I wanted to take this seriously and purchase my own. Which is exactly what I did. Then choose my subject. It is always a good tip to use a friend or person you know well to create an easy-going environment to practice directing skills and building confidence for going into the Photography Industry.

Being quite new to film cameras, I took my Digital SLR on the shoot and programmed in the Aperture and Shutters Speed beforehand to test if I had achieved a balanced exposure. Using my Pentax K1000 was an interesting experience and comparison to the Digital World. I really had to think about the composition, the lighting, the focus and everything that goes into making a good picture. Well this was the exercise; to learn these key techniques. It just goes to show how easy it to is to point a camera at an object or a subject and then to shoot. I really understand the idea of "point and shoot" that is actually all it is and I know how obvious that sounds.

I think I have always been a bit scared about using the manual setting on my Digital SLR incase the picture would come out completely overexposed, blurry or just down right hideous and it effected my Photographers Confidence. I really needed to use film to get away from the temptation of using the amateur technique. One of the most frustrating barriers to pass was the lack of a preview screen. You can tell I wasn't brought up 40+ years ago. You don't realize how much you rely on a screen on the back of your camera to confirm the picture that you have taken is fantastic. If not? You then can throw it away and try again and again. It's not same with film. You can take as many pictures of the same composition many times but the film runs out eventually, actually very quickly. You need to get it right first time and the only time you can see it  is when you are printing and developing in the dark room.

Now, I haven't done that yet. I have never used a Dark Room in my entire life, though I have been in one. There is that fear that I have messed up, but I can't know that for sure with every photo. I have a feeling of some good ones and some bad but this is only my first task out of my three years studying Photography. I have plenty of time to succeed if it all goes wrong.

From my digital pre-film photo shoot pictures (right hand side) I'm quite proud of the compositions and Monochrome tones that are present. I suppose that is the great thing about Digital; you can view the photos straight away.

Photographs taken by: Zoë Bull
Special thanks to George Gillbard  for taking part in the shoot. 


Want to visit my Flickr photostream with the featured photos in my blog and more then click the following link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/brown_eyed_dreamer/

Hard Core Commuter - Tate Modern

3.00pm and currently walking to my platform at Ealing Broadway making my way home. A nice friendly quiet time to end the achedemic week without that horrid crowd of people at rush hour.

Bridge over river Thames
Morning walk to station. 

I am going to be making more if an effort, blogging my Photography experiences now I have begun Uni. What's good is that I can now write posts on the move. The downside is without Wi-Fi I can't post till I get home.

Today I went to the Tate Modern for my first Uni/school trip.

A longer commute with the underground but once I got there I could remember some familiar faces from the previous days. I hung around with two new girls I met and though we got lost in the gallery we were clicking away with our cameras and having a good time. It was pretty good that we all were commuters seeing as I felt like I was the only one not living away from my home. Surrounded by camera nerds I love it!!!

Ealing Broadway Station taken on Hipstamatic App iPod
Touch/iPhone

I'm feeling good.....

First week of University almost over. I can't believe it.

I'm feeling more confident about myself than I ever have in my life because, well I don't know. I suppose I have  had a lot of support over the past couple of months on the upcoming track to Uni from friends and family and I feel very appreciated at this stage therefore it makes me appreciate myself. There is also the aspect of going to a new city and making friends, beginning a course that should hopefully set me up for a career in Photography. For once on this blog I don't feel like I want to complain. I don't tend to be the negative kind of girl at all; optimism is always something I strive for but everyone has their down and dark moments.

The hour commute to Ealing Broadway is a mixture of things; Beautiful countryside speeding past you, letting your mind wander with your iPod soundtracking the journey. It doesn't half stop at every station though when you are whipped back into reality panicking mildly to see if you should be getting off. Lots of walking too as well as train. Walking too and from my house and then another fifteen minute walk once I have arrived in the West of London.

My first day was Monday; my heart fluttering away as I was finding the most suitable piece of clothing that would give me the optimum impression of myself. After resulting to a maroon cable knitted jumper dress, that hugged my figure without looking trashy; I headed out of the door 20 minutes early than being early/on time to catch my first train to Ealing Broadway.
I certainly felt a sense of home when I got there. Always living in the same place surely would have made me feel lost but I could really feel my feet here.
The enrollment was pretty lonely thing. Once I went through the glass doors I was handed a Student Union card for the Freshers week but feeling pretty hungry I headed for the refreshments bar for a muffin and some water. There was a lot of people watching going on, while I was sitting at round table on my own. People seemed to already know each other; maybe from the Halls or from a similar area but I quite liked I was doing this on my own. I did however feel that I should probably start making friends and talking to people this was never an easy talent of mine. I am a friendly face that people come over to talk to. Not often have I been the kind of person to form contact because I had always been to shy. None the less after I finished lunching I had my picture taken, picked up my ID card and sorted through Finance. Three hours and that was it. Done. Enrolment complete. I did take a look at the SU Bar, Freddies, named after the legendary music man Freddie Mercury of Queen.

Tuesday was mainly an Induction Day. I became familiar with my tutor, Neil and the Photography staff. I was given my timetable of two days a week (lecture time) though I believe that will be subject to change once I've made friends with the Dark Room. I feel like I am on way being a Digital Photography genius but still using Auto (GUILTY) I am still technically known as an amateur. Film, depth of field, apeture and f-stops are still mind-boggling to me. I have some knowledge but I can't yet apply them. That, I thought I would be learning come the second year...err no actually next week. Am I the owner of a film camera? No. Ah this is going to be interesting. I always feel like I'm the last one to finish, come practical assignments. Everyone seems to be know-it-alls in my class..well the outspoken ones anyway. Least I have made a friend who chilled out with me over the day. Even visited the library for Photography books. What nerds.

Exciting day tomorrow and I should probably be catching up on my sleep right now, regardless of a Wednesday day off. Early start, commute begins and off to the Tate Modern for a Photography exhibtion. Finding my own way there...interesting. Never done London on my own before.

I know this is a Photography blog but for those of you out there keeping count..I will add some photos soon. Words speak louder than pictures right now.

Ta

Want to visit my Flickr photostream with the featured photos in my blog and more then click the following link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/brown_eyed_dreamer/

Photography at University...one step closer..

I guess it really shows how long it has been since I have written, but I am liking Blogger's new interface; the old one was just not inspiring, I was never really keen, but this WOW!

Now, this post isn't about me talking about Blogger updating itself or how long I've written because more often than not, thats how I start my posts. Agreeably boring, I know.

University:
Now this certainly sounds like a big word, an overwhelming word that is on the lips of many of my friends at this current time. Some have already made tracks, the furthest being best friend from secondary school, Molly, who has taken a five hour journey up to York to begin the next chapter of her life. Where am I going? London! West London that is pretty much a forty-five minute train journey from my little village on the river Thames that I have literally spend my whole life growing up.
Unlike the majority of friends who are going to University, I'll be enrolling tomorrow for the FdA course in Photography and then at the end of the day...coming home....

Yeah..that doesn't sound quite how the normal stretch of University life is but coping with the fact I haven't been allocated a place in Halls means that I will be commuting two to three days a week for my lectures.
It would have just been so much easier for me to live there and as much as I hate cooking, cleaning and all sorts, I actually WANT to do those things. I'm a person of many facets. My inner child is very much still with me but I need to put aside that part of me for the time being and really concentrating on the responsibilities of growing up. It just hasn't really hit me yet that I'm going to University. It's like saying it is Christmas Eve today and tomorrow will be the exciting Christmas Day and what do you expect...presents. My day tomorrow feels like the big Christmas Day but without the presents...just the big meal, which to me will be the meeting of new faces and the induction of my course.

I'm not really the religious type but Christmas Day isn't really about presents and we all know it, but it's the thing that most un-religious people look forward to. As much as I love it too, I feel that we're being kind of greedy and I can relate to that with my accommodation. Christmas is about the message of being Thankful. I should be Thankful that I'm going to University and the one I have wanted to go to since I set eyes on it. It has been competitive statistically this year and some people didn't even get the University they wanted to and had to go through clearing. Some may not have had that at all.

I wish the best of luck to my friends who are living away from their homes, it is such a big big thing and very very brave. I may get my accommodation soon but for the time being I need to stop being selfish and be Thankful I'm getting half of what I wanted rather than nothing at all.

I'm still going to Uni but just in a different experience to everyone else. I suppose I have always been the kind of person who goes against the crowd.

Here is to the beginning of Photography!!!

I thought it took a long time,but today I felt inspired...

When you disappear for a while, it tends to have something to do with being stuck in a rut. Maybe there is a problem that you need to curl away to a safe place and have a real good think about much value this situation has?

I won't say I have been hiding, because I haven't. 26th February was a while ago now, and part of me thinks that the space of time from then to now should have been filled and there were opportunities where it could have been, but I wasn't inspired to write. Inspiration has brought me here to today.

People say that inspiration can just come from the mind of any area of subject but I feel the power of inspiration can not just come from within yourself but subconscious help from another person and the help of magic of the Arts. I suppose that Sciences and Philosophy could blossom into inspiration but that is not important to me. I am a creative soul. I breathe the art of song, the lyrics are my conversation, my feelings and self expression, dance is my ability to move and discover the world and photography is my escape for the yearning of freedom and independence that I significantly need to feel a balance in myself. Without these elements I would feel claustrophobic, suffocated and lost. I would feel no purpose.

I feel like I have been floating, drifting in and out of possible inspiration, getting me close to my dream of being a Photographer. This has been since February. Now, finished with college and I can really begin with my future orientated way approach to life because the future is now. I was getting down and being a recluse to the world because I just wanted to get somewhere. All I would do on my blog posts would be complain that I wasn't inspired and that was the only reason I had something to write about, because I had done nothing. I wanted to be ready for university with some inspiration to believe I had something to work on a head start. I had no subject. I had no focus. Back in January in my second interview at The University of West London there was no story about the pieces of photography I had put in. "They were experimental", I would say to pretty much each one, but what got me a conditional offer was my passion and determination in this subject even though they thought I wasn't up to scratch. But seriously?! I have to start somewhere, I'm not going to be amazing just yet. Just decent enough.

I want to work with people in my Photography career. To capture couples special wedding day, family portraits and do tasks for people because I enjoy it so much. I hadn't yet come across anyone who was interested in having their photo done so I stuck to the silence of nature and landscapes and the natural patience nature has was a good beginner. Imagine trying to take a picture of someone and they get all hot headed about things because the photographer is still working out how to use the more complex techniques with the camera. I'm getting there, still a little intimidated by the flicks and switches but I'm building some strength up and saying I can do this.

I went to Devon again over the last week and took some landscape pictures but not many - I wasn't inspired. I had already uploaded the last visit to Flickr and created a blog post but when I got back I had a task at hand; To edit some photos, and this is where my inspiration and drive for photography recovered. A good friend of mine is another creative soul with deep interest and aspiration into the Performing Arts. One the many passions of his; to model has taken me by storm to use my freedom and self expressive imagination to create a scenes of what I like to think is the concept of an idealist coming to life. Fantasy and out of this world situations that a viewer can look for a few moments and connect with the thoughts and mind of the artist. And I have been inspired. So thank you.

A photo can be anything. But all photos, no matter how busy the scene is they are still blank canvases and it is rare that once they are taken they are complete. The photos in magazines and photographers portfolios and so on are enhanced. Mostly because, to me the orginal photo is the surface but the deeper you go with enhancing the more you find what the image is trying to say. I seemed to find that when editing these photos and helping someone achieve their own goals makes feel a whole world of good too. I am not taking full credit for these photos because I didn't take them I would say it would be more of a 25% editing and 75% the original composition.

I feel secure in saying my Photography journey can now continue to an ever better future...

Want to visit my Flickr photostream with the featured photos in my blog and more then click the following link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/brown_eyed_dreamer/

Seeing beauty in the most depressive of weathers...

Took a trip down to Devon with my family this week and though it was rainy and cloudy I still saw the beauty in the countryside and my surroundings there. I love the coastal areas. The fresh sea air that captivates and revitalizes the lungs, the wind wrapping itself round your hair. It smells like freedom.

With the pictures I took the weather offered me the perfect opportunity to capture dramatic monotone shades. I love black and white. There is something very classical and vintage about them that excites me. I remember I used to hate black and white film because I was always so curious to know what colours the subjects were wearing, the colour of their hair, eyes and skin, but now I love how black complements white and all the many shades of grey in between. I definitely see art there. However, there is always a time and place for black and white, and getting it wrong can destroy the aesthetics of a photograph. So in a way I was lucky that the skies were dramatic and could capture what old Torquay and Teignmouth may have been like. I am not a fan of historic matters but the history of a place and a photography interest me so much.

Want to visit my Flickr photostream with the featured photosin my blog andmore then click the followinglink:http://www.flickr.com/photos/brown_eyed_dreamer/

Dreams really do come true...as cliche as it sounds...

26th January was a while ago...

It was one of the most influential and life changing days of my life but I felt too tired to write it record all here in my blog. The excuses keep rolling in: the same old "I have been so busy". Well it is true but great news has to be shared and not kept just in fabricated journal with lines in it. With the blog I can just focus one subject such a Photography and keep my person life, well personal.

Overcast as a typical British day is was the Wednesday I had my interview. My parents drove down to London, with me in back seat intently listening to my iPod and building up my confidence. My new blue handbag that concealed my portfolio that I had been working so aggressively trying to get it picture perfect (literally) - it didn't help that my mouse on my computer stopped working, preventing me to finish editing so I could watch Dancing on Ice that Sunday night, ready by the Monday for printing and prep on Tuesday for Wednesday.

I didn't feel too nervous on the day, and having some lunch at Starbucks helped calm me down even more. Mum and Dad dropped me off so they could do some shopping and have another cup of coffee but I was thrown into the foyer at Ealing ready for checking in and having the eyes of my competitors curiously looking at me. People looked friendly, they were just sitting around and coming in with my classic yellow coat and white chunky knitted scarf was sure to turn a few heads. The boring bit begun with a presentation about the Arts at The University of West London that only focused on films that had been made from Graphic Design graduates... Err where was the Photography work? Two whole rows of the theatre filled up of aspiring Photographers sat at the back of the room, feel confused, playing on Blackberries and reading books. (Ok that was only the girl next to me but you get the point)

Separated into our subjects the Photography group were taken to the main studio, where I had been once before and got told more about the course. We then waited in the Apple Mac suite and seriously every girl and every guy signed on to Facebook as soon as we were told we could check our "emails".. like yeah thats what teenagers do.HELLO?? We are checking updates on one of the most tedious websites in the world to see if someone has commented/liked our latest statuses or whos friend of a friend has been tagged in a really embarrassing picture. I have to admit I did this as well but I don't think the rest of the room was as observant as I was.

My interview finally got on the way and as I had my pre-interview with the same man, I was able just to chat my way through my portfolio but resulted to basically saying everything is an experimentation - well it is. Nick wanted to see more structure and planning to my work - why did you take this image - what is the message it is trying to covey. That didn' t sound hard but it is having inspiration forced on you that is the problem.

He then said that I was "obviously very enthusiastic and passionate so I am going to give you conditional place.."

I AM IN FOR THE WIN!

Want to visit my Flickr photostream with the featured photos in my blog and more then click the following link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/brown_eyed_dreamer/

New Year beginning the career...?

Two weeks into the new year and my photography side of life is feeling motivated. It takes a new year to make a fresh start to me. Applying to University, really getting my life started and becoming in adult in just under three months.

After a bit of the waiting game, I have finally heard from my top choice (University of West London) which are giving inviting me to an interview on the 26th January, only 11 days away. All is fine and dandy with a spark of excitement accept UCAS the application station, has not yet processed the invite and therefore is disabling me to reply to this amazing University. The deadline is today which makes it even worse, but what can I do? I have already emailed the university to say I will accept and UCAS is being delayed. I will just have sit and wait....

However, sitting and waiting around is just asking for stress to flood over you. With the rare amount of spaces of free time I have, I managed to really get to know my camera. I have had it for a a year and few months and to be honest, only really knew the basics. It was intimidating and I was busy...sound like an excuse? Feel a bit bad, but due to my pre-interview I had back in November, the course leader was impressed with the portfolio I had created so far. I knew now that I had to up my game and I mean UP IT! I needed to get the hang of f/stops and what aperture really meant. ...

Want to visit my Flickr photostream with the featured photos in my blog and more then click the following link http://www.flickr.com/photos/brown_eyed_dreamer/