The silent flakes of silent thoughts... Merry Christmas!

"Snow is falling,

around us,

children playing,

having fun

tis the season,

for love and understanding,

Merry Christmas everyone.."

It is the 5 day run-up to Christmas 2010, snow is falling and it is all round us, well certainly on the whole of England it is. It is beautiful, looking out of the frosted windows, icicles and cold,wet, fluffy swirling flakes from the sky. It was definite MUST for me to grab my camera and capture the rare snowing occasion and the possible chance of a proper white Christmas.I was dissapointed, and I hate negetivity at the best of times but at this time of year, I hate it. We can't escape it though and I think Brits have just grown accustom to it all. We do cheer up and come together with our families, wrap, give and recive presents, it is all so exciting.

A thought came to me as munched on some chocolate buttons, that I haven't really done much Photography in a long time; haven't uploaded to Flickr due to not renewing my pro account. I have been busy buying for people rather than treating myself to a new £15 membership so people can present my photos. I want to be a photographer, and if you didn't know yet well you probably will. It is not that I'm trying to force myself to like it but I haven't really been inspired to Photograph anything for myself. An epiphany came to me quite recently telling me that I enjoy doing photography for other people rather than myself. Though I have been doingworkexperience this year, I have taking photos for weddings, for festivals for people rather than for me, just to print off or store on my computer. Thats what I want my career to be. To take photos to help out people, for their purpose and not mine. Family portraits, for me to feel special enough to capture the happy family moments and to feel I have done something charitable. It is all in my nature and knowing my personality type, makes me feel that I canpick out each aspect with such detail.

I love being an INFP (Introvert.iNtuitive. Feeling. Perceiving) Myers Briggs personality type. I love doing things for people. I get this buzz that makes me feel worthwhile. Photography will help me achieve that. I used to photography for myself, just objects that I value but soon after, I took Photos for the purpose of the Flickr community. Without the renewal it is been like I have disappeared from that life, when I will be needing it the most, in less than a year.

I have my weaknesses. I don't realise when I have done enough work, I over do things. I am a perfectionist. I don't give myself enough credit or realise I have done a sufficient amount when I have. Worst of all is that I'm not organised. I find it so hard. My room is a mess, the house I will be living in the future will be a mess, the only things that are keeping me organised is the fact that I have college timetable for my week, I have a family who are born with natural organisation but if I push myself and value the things in my life, I can do things. I CAN BE ORGANISED!

I know by the time university comes along that I will organised, academically I am with projects, I am set but I can't set my own projects without taking months to achieve them. I think this is why working for other people and set deadlines works for me because I have got purpose, they are counting on me and I don't want to let them down. This could be from teachers, lectures, family and friends, Commissioners and clients. I know that is my calling and I'm going to do something about it in the new year. I have got a chance to renew!

Merry Christmas to all and a Happy New Year!