C for Confidence, S for Success...

Confidence? What is it?

"belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance"
                                                                                             - Dictionary.com


You could say that a success is achieved with confidence. Sometimes you have those lucky breaks when things work out but that is really just do with luck. Having the confidence to do something makes you feel better. This could be to do with anything; Music, Writing, Performing, Socializing and so much more. When you have the belief you can do something that is when things turn out great. There are many tasks in life that are worth considering confidence.
I started University, six weeks ago. I am planning to spend tomorrow in the dark room with one of new friends, processing and developing film. If I hadn't had the confidence to strike up a conversation or hold it then I may not have made a friend. Though I'm a person who doesn't mind her own company I could have lost with what I was doing. If I didn't have the confidence, I wouldn't be asking for help when I needed it, because honestly developing film is no easy task.


So why am I talking about Confidence and where are the pictures to go with this post? To be honest, I don't have any to show to today but I want you to bare with me and let the words create images in your mind. I was learning about Typography earlier this week and how the communication of words can do such a thing..but that, is an entirely different story.

Confidence. That is the focus of today.

Going to University is often that stepping stone in to the real world. The industries, where your aspirations are able to take shape and really be brought to life. Like many things, Photography needs such confidence. As much as it is an Art and debatably a Science, it is also a lot to do with Social Communications.

I had to do a classic Powerpoint Presentation today that was a proposal for an assignment as part of my Digital Photography. Without going into much detail; my idea revolves around commuting. I am a commuter and any regular readers would probably know that about now from my recent posts. So this is an important subject to me but I have never really done Documentary Photography before. I have been hiding in the shadows. I have been lacking confidence. If you have seen my Flickr page  then you know about 90% of my photos are Still Life, Architecture or Landscape and Nature. I haven't really captured many people, only beginning just recently. It's not that I don't want to capture people, I just haven't got the words and the stratergy to get me there successfully yet. It's what I want to do. I want to be a Lifestyle Photographer; Family Portraits, Weddings, Couples, Children. What do I need? The Social Skills. Are they easy? No. Can I get there? Yes. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but every experience I have communicating with people I am gaining confidence, maybe even subconsciously. Everyone at some stage of their lives lack confidence, even the people most Extravert of people. Confidence is lacked and that is a sad truth. However. It is not lost. It is gained. It can be maintained.

What I found was today in my presentation session was everyone found it hard to approach the public just to have their photos taken. I don't know if this is just a British characteristic, but we are so reserved and stiff.   One guy in my class had no trouble, hats off to him but realistically as aspiring Photographers the majority of the class are finding this "Approach" the hardest. We are interested in the Primary elements; seeing interesting views, objects, people etc but putting that in to practice is hard. I was saying a few posts ago that the Photography that I am learning about is more than just Point-and-Shoot. There is so much more than I would have thought, and that is great because I'm passionate about Photography and I love it but you still have to strive for something. You have to have a clear head and be focused. Much about Photographing people is the control that you have over them. The problem is that once you point a camera on a person their expression will change. It will be forced, posed, unnatural. For some occasions that is down right perfect and it works but my Communting project I need to get these commuters to pose naturally, candidly but fake candidly because the tired, distressed look is what I need. It communicates with the viewer. That is the challenge. The fence I have to climb and not fall down on either side.

What I have been trying to say is that without having the confidence to ask for access, whether that is for location or a person then how am I going to expect to be a successful Photographer? It's not just about taking pretty pictures. It is about control and confidence. I won't be able to complete my project without it. I may have confidence in myself. But to apply it...well --


Try not and let the fear, prevent you from becoming successful, for I believe.




Want to visit my Flickr photostream with the featured photos in my blog and more then click the following link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/brown_eyed_dreamer/

Pure inspiration, enough to be different...

Inspiration for writing is like grain of sand, slipping through my fingers. It is golden; this inspiration. It has a golden glow is so pure and warm but once I try and take a hold on it, the glow becomes dimmer and grains of sand become smaller. I must hold onto it before it goes...

As you can see my inspiration runs out quickly, no matter how beautiful and important it is to me.. What inspired me this morning was my research into Black and White Photographers that I'm currently procrastinating as I my urge to write this post came to me. I have spoken a lot about Black and White recently and for this research, I have to analyze some of the work from my favourite Monochrome photographers. Mine personal favourite would have to Robert Freeman who Photographed the Beatles around the time of the Rubber Soul LP in 1965. I love his high contrast tonality between the black and white - shades of grey would seldom be conveyed. I have to talk about why I find the Photographs work interesting and how it inspires me. I also have to mention, how it would influence my work. That is the thing. I love Monochrome but I could never re-create Robert Freeman's style. It is his. It is original. I want to be original. I am original.

On my lecture in Digital Photography on the Thursday just been; my lecturer said that "everything has been done before" and he is right. It has. In a way it is discouraging because how can anyone be original when at least someone has tried to do something that is already done. On the other hand, it is an exciting challenge; this being because every person has a unique perception on life-I learned that the other day. We may be similar but even the same object we may look at, everyone will have different way of associating themselves with it. This could be from a still life to a person to a landscape and so on. A Photographers job, as well as capturing light, it is to show to the world how they perceive it. It is hard because these differences can be very similar but I think I can prove a difference in my Photography, it will show what a successful Photography I am.

I must get on with this research now. What a perfect introduction.





Want to visit my Flickr photostream with the featured photos in my blog and more then click the following link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/brown_eyed_dreamer/

Practice makes perfect..

I do love that sense of improvement and development really paying off.

Looking back over my Blog I have seen how much I progressed in my Photography. Though the first milestone for me was getting into University and starting my course the real beginning was much before that. It's strange how much I didn't know. I suppose I possessed some natural Photography skills. I could already frame my images and take pictures of interesting compositions but I have learned so much about Photography in the last five weeks at University than I ever thought I would. This knowledge is just making my confidence soar and make me really feel that I am getting somewhere. I have been quite skeptical in my abilities in the past as you have something in your work that makes it stand out. As I am writing this I am feeling very silly about why I was so skeptical and I can't really put my finger on the main reason. It's in the past now, so not worth worrying. I suppose progress can be a bit daunting; there will always be times when things will be great but without those mistakes we make, we can't improve, so in a sense even the negatives spell good too.

I have been an Assistant Photographer for about eighteen months now. I believe I have done eight weddings. That is pretty good going, I think. I remember the first time when I was given one of the professional cameras and thinking "How on Earth do I use this?". I was set up for me, by the Photographer I work with. I was very quiet, just stood at the back of the church and I think my pictures were blurry as I didn't know how to focus, on this high tech Digital SLR. To be hones, I was still unsure how my SLR worked at this time and I had it for six months. I enjoyed the day though and there is a blog post back in May 2010 if you want to read more about it. I never imagined I would have the confidence to get involved and talk to guests about posing for the camera and getting me to take their photos. The social skills in Photography seemed unreachable.

Yesterday improved my social skills in Photography. Stuart could sense an improvement in my work; it has begun to be used in some of the wedding albums and he said my compositions and timings are much more precise so I had to move a step up. My task was to get in closer with the guests and interact with them. I am a Photographer now. It is what I should do. I can't just stand from a distance. I took up as much courage as I could to look for the golden opportunities and I found them. I got some wacky poses, some requests from parents to take pictures of their children running around (to be honest that one was hard, they really don't keep still, but I'll work on that) and I got a group of around ten people to smile at the camera for me. They were taking pictures of themselves using their amateur cameras, so I thought "Hey, I could take their pictures", which is what I asked and achieved. I felt so good about myself and even Stuart seemed impressed.

I'm loving this industry, this freedom of capturing light more than ever. I just fits with me!


Want to visit my Flickr photostream with the featured photos in my blog and more then click the following link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/brown_eyed_dreamer/

Digital vs Film - My First Assignment...

With every aspiration there is a goal you want to reach. Within that goal there are mini achievements that get you closer to that goal.  My first goal is completing my first ever Photo shoot.

Portraiture. Monochrome Portraiture, infact.

There is something about black and white photography that I just adore. It could possibly be the delicious tones of deep greys and blacks in contrast with the soft greys and whites. I think enhances the beauty of Photography and really goes back in time to when it all began.

It was around the '70s when photographing with rolls of film came into the world. People would buy their film, go on a holiday, take pictures of their familiar etcetera . Being born towards the end of the 20th Century, I was in the midst of change, the process and development of Digital Cameras. Film wasn't used as often but it was the Photographers back in the day would use to make a living and how they learned to use a camera. There is Mathmatics and Science to Photography and being one of the most artistic and creative people known to mankind I knew this would be a bit of a struggle understanding these terms that are computerized Mathematically within the Automatic setting of a Digital Camera. Being a University student now on a Photography Degree it is about time I leave behind the Auto mode and really take some real photos with some real knowledge and real technique.

I was given my first assignment last week to use two rolls of film and a Pentax K1000 (a vintage 35mm camera). That is the model they have at University but for me I wanted to take this seriously and purchase my own. Which is exactly what I did. Then choose my subject. It is always a good tip to use a friend or person you know well to create an easy-going environment to practice directing skills and building confidence for going into the Photography Industry.

Being quite new to film cameras, I took my Digital SLR on the shoot and programmed in the Aperture and Shutters Speed beforehand to test if I had achieved a balanced exposure. Using my Pentax K1000 was an interesting experience and comparison to the Digital World. I really had to think about the composition, the lighting, the focus and everything that goes into making a good picture. Well this was the exercise; to learn these key techniques. It just goes to show how easy it to is to point a camera at an object or a subject and then to shoot. I really understand the idea of "point and shoot" that is actually all it is and I know how obvious that sounds.

I think I have always been a bit scared about using the manual setting on my Digital SLR incase the picture would come out completely overexposed, blurry or just down right hideous and it effected my Photographers Confidence. I really needed to use film to get away from the temptation of using the amateur technique. One of the most frustrating barriers to pass was the lack of a preview screen. You can tell I wasn't brought up 40+ years ago. You don't realize how much you rely on a screen on the back of your camera to confirm the picture that you have taken is fantastic. If not? You then can throw it away and try again and again. It's not same with film. You can take as many pictures of the same composition many times but the film runs out eventually, actually very quickly. You need to get it right first time and the only time you can see it  is when you are printing and developing in the dark room.

Now, I haven't done that yet. I have never used a Dark Room in my entire life, though I have been in one. There is that fear that I have messed up, but I can't know that for sure with every photo. I have a feeling of some good ones and some bad but this is only my first task out of my three years studying Photography. I have plenty of time to succeed if it all goes wrong.

From my digital pre-film photo shoot pictures (right hand side) I'm quite proud of the compositions and Monochrome tones that are present. I suppose that is the great thing about Digital; you can view the photos straight away.

Photographs taken by: Zoë Bull
Special thanks to George Gillbard  for taking part in the shoot. 


Want to visit my Flickr photostream with the featured photos in my blog and more then click the following link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/brown_eyed_dreamer/

Hard Core Commuter - Tate Modern

3.00pm and currently walking to my platform at Ealing Broadway making my way home. A nice friendly quiet time to end the achedemic week without that horrid crowd of people at rush hour.

Bridge over river Thames
Morning walk to station. 

I am going to be making more if an effort, blogging my Photography experiences now I have begun Uni. What's good is that I can now write posts on the move. The downside is without Wi-Fi I can't post till I get home.

Today I went to the Tate Modern for my first Uni/school trip.

A longer commute with the underground but once I got there I could remember some familiar faces from the previous days. I hung around with two new girls I met and though we got lost in the gallery we were clicking away with our cameras and having a good time. It was pretty good that we all were commuters seeing as I felt like I was the only one not living away from my home. Surrounded by camera nerds I love it!!!

Ealing Broadway Station taken on Hipstamatic App iPod
Touch/iPhone

I'm feeling good.....

First week of University almost over. I can't believe it.

I'm feeling more confident about myself than I ever have in my life because, well I don't know. I suppose I have  had a lot of support over the past couple of months on the upcoming track to Uni from friends and family and I feel very appreciated at this stage therefore it makes me appreciate myself. There is also the aspect of going to a new city and making friends, beginning a course that should hopefully set me up for a career in Photography. For once on this blog I don't feel like I want to complain. I don't tend to be the negative kind of girl at all; optimism is always something I strive for but everyone has their down and dark moments.

The hour commute to Ealing Broadway is a mixture of things; Beautiful countryside speeding past you, letting your mind wander with your iPod soundtracking the journey. It doesn't half stop at every station though when you are whipped back into reality panicking mildly to see if you should be getting off. Lots of walking too as well as train. Walking too and from my house and then another fifteen minute walk once I have arrived in the West of London.

My first day was Monday; my heart fluttering away as I was finding the most suitable piece of clothing that would give me the optimum impression of myself. After resulting to a maroon cable knitted jumper dress, that hugged my figure without looking trashy; I headed out of the door 20 minutes early than being early/on time to catch my first train to Ealing Broadway.
I certainly felt a sense of home when I got there. Always living in the same place surely would have made me feel lost but I could really feel my feet here.
The enrollment was pretty lonely thing. Once I went through the glass doors I was handed a Student Union card for the Freshers week but feeling pretty hungry I headed for the refreshments bar for a muffin and some water. There was a lot of people watching going on, while I was sitting at round table on my own. People seemed to already know each other; maybe from the Halls or from a similar area but I quite liked I was doing this on my own. I did however feel that I should probably start making friends and talking to people this was never an easy talent of mine. I am a friendly face that people come over to talk to. Not often have I been the kind of person to form contact because I had always been to shy. None the less after I finished lunching I had my picture taken, picked up my ID card and sorted through Finance. Three hours and that was it. Done. Enrolment complete. I did take a look at the SU Bar, Freddies, named after the legendary music man Freddie Mercury of Queen.

Tuesday was mainly an Induction Day. I became familiar with my tutor, Neil and the Photography staff. I was given my timetable of two days a week (lecture time) though I believe that will be subject to change once I've made friends with the Dark Room. I feel like I am on way being a Digital Photography genius but still using Auto (GUILTY) I am still technically known as an amateur. Film, depth of field, apeture and f-stops are still mind-boggling to me. I have some knowledge but I can't yet apply them. That, I thought I would be learning come the second year...err no actually next week. Am I the owner of a film camera? No. Ah this is going to be interesting. I always feel like I'm the last one to finish, come practical assignments. Everyone seems to be know-it-alls in my class..well the outspoken ones anyway. Least I have made a friend who chilled out with me over the day. Even visited the library for Photography books. What nerds.

Exciting day tomorrow and I should probably be catching up on my sleep right now, regardless of a Wednesday day off. Early start, commute begins and off to the Tate Modern for a Photography exhibtion. Finding my own way there...interesting. Never done London on my own before.

I know this is a Photography blog but for those of you out there keeping count..I will add some photos soon. Words speak louder than pictures right now.

Ta

Want to visit my Flickr photostream with the featured photos in my blog and more then click the following link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/brown_eyed_dreamer/

Photography at University...one step closer..

I guess it really shows how long it has been since I have written, but I am liking Blogger's new interface; the old one was just not inspiring, I was never really keen, but this WOW!

Now, this post isn't about me talking about Blogger updating itself or how long I've written because more often than not, thats how I start my posts. Agreeably boring, I know.

University:
Now this certainly sounds like a big word, an overwhelming word that is on the lips of many of my friends at this current time. Some have already made tracks, the furthest being best friend from secondary school, Molly, who has taken a five hour journey up to York to begin the next chapter of her life. Where am I going? London! West London that is pretty much a forty-five minute train journey from my little village on the river Thames that I have literally spend my whole life growing up.
Unlike the majority of friends who are going to University, I'll be enrolling tomorrow for the FdA course in Photography and then at the end of the day...coming home....

Yeah..that doesn't sound quite how the normal stretch of University life is but coping with the fact I haven't been allocated a place in Halls means that I will be commuting two to three days a week for my lectures.
It would have just been so much easier for me to live there and as much as I hate cooking, cleaning and all sorts, I actually WANT to do those things. I'm a person of many facets. My inner child is very much still with me but I need to put aside that part of me for the time being and really concentrating on the responsibilities of growing up. It just hasn't really hit me yet that I'm going to University. It's like saying it is Christmas Eve today and tomorrow will be the exciting Christmas Day and what do you expect...presents. My day tomorrow feels like the big Christmas Day but without the presents...just the big meal, which to me will be the meeting of new faces and the induction of my course.

I'm not really the religious type but Christmas Day isn't really about presents and we all know it, but it's the thing that most un-religious people look forward to. As much as I love it too, I feel that we're being kind of greedy and I can relate to that with my accommodation. Christmas is about the message of being Thankful. I should be Thankful that I'm going to University and the one I have wanted to go to since I set eyes on it. It has been competitive statistically this year and some people didn't even get the University they wanted to and had to go through clearing. Some may not have had that at all.

I wish the best of luck to my friends who are living away from their homes, it is such a big big thing and very very brave. I may get my accommodation soon but for the time being I need to stop being selfish and be Thankful I'm getting half of what I wanted rather than nothing at all.

I'm still going to Uni but just in a different experience to everyone else. I suppose I have always been the kind of person who goes against the crowd.

Here is to the beginning of Photography!!!